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Monthly Archives: February 2003

2/18/03

Where will you be when the world comes unglued?
Sitting dreaming of nightmares alone in your room
trying to read trying to write trying to sleep
with him with her at the middle with a knife
trying to flay it wider beating your fists on it turning blue
at the end of the hall last door on the right with the razor
trying to decide between the mirror or your wrist
or driving too fast or in a parking lot trying to choke back the tears
trying to fight back the deafness
and the ripples that cut the miles like flesh
dull and wishing to be more dull
on a hilltop watching it all go to hell
back on the freeway cursing the timing only an hour to go
you almost made it — we almost got there
but someone died something in us died
or we were far too alive for our own good
and night falls or day breaks and it is irreparable
and yes this is for you but it wasn’t of your choosing
a worst case scenario there unfolding coming unglued
the nasty grain that was there inside us all the time
now shattering jagged under the skin and rising fast
if the worst things didn’t happen at the worst times they wouldn’t be so bad
just more that builds the scar tissue inch by inch or cuts through to the bone
reminding us that all our attempts to become more than human
are in vain and don’t you think that if we could get beyond it
someone would have already and what happens to the ones left behind
paralyzed by it or never able to accept it or at least ignore it
long enough to see that there’s more
there’s more
there’s more than we could ever dream there in the grain
below the surface and it has its own harsh beauty or at least truth
and if we ever can see that then we’re doing fine
and it’ll be fine
and we’ll be there on the other side laughing
and the learning will go understood between us in silence
because even the nastiest scar heals and the scars can help us too
and like someone said can be a road map
charting out where we’ve been and where we need to go
and maybe we’ll be lucky enough to get there
and yes there’s a happy ending and I wrote it just for you.

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so I got my bike stolen Friday, but this awesome architecture prof caught the guy. So apparently, the guy’s gotta rap sheet 28 pages long. And they want me to testify against him. don’t know how that’s gonna be…

Sick as hell.
Well, it’s not really that bad, but it was enough to keep me in bed all day yesterday, without even a fever to make it fun.
I would like to thank KPFK for the good company. Everyone should make a little donation to them, they’re the only truly radical voice on the radio today.
http://www.pacifica.org
I really have more to say, but not the time to say it.
Everybody who knows me in real life should call and say hey.
Everybody who knows me from LJ should drop a line and tell me a good story…
late.